Looking At the End of the Story
It's been six months since my birthday. It's been five months since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. And it's been less than four weeks since I moved home to Tennessee from Kentucky to be with my family.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that a lot can happen in six months. Things you never wanted to deal with. Words you never hoped to hear. Pain you never thought you would feel.
Life can change so fast.
Sometimes the thing you fear the most really does happen. One of my scariest "What If's" for years was wondering how I would cope if my mom got cancer. I'll never forget pulling into the driveway and my mom coming out to greet me. I already knew something was wrong, but when she actually said the words, "I think I have breast cancer," my heart plummeted while my brain registered the reality that nightmares can come true.
Fast forward five months to today. My mom just finished her chemo treatments and is now preparing to have massive surgery next week. We have had grace upon grace poured out upon us from the Body of Christ: delicious meals, countless texts, numerous bouquets, and oh, so many prayers. And while this trial is by no means over, we are thanking God for the healing progress we are seeing and for what He is teaching us today.
They say what doesn't kill you makes your stronger. I am here to tell you I don't do well with pain. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I really hate unknowns. Lately, God has given me a great big dish of both in numerous forms. If we graded ourselves on how strong we felt our faith was, I'd give myself a solid C. Some days I feel optimistic about what God has up His sleeve, and other days, I weary from preaching to myself and cave into the self-pity big time.
How thankful I am that God has mercy on people like me! People who know the right answers, who grew up in church, were homeschooled, went to Christian college, have a master’s degree in biblical counseling-yet who doubt, sometimes fear His plan, and question His ways. The hard and the unexpected show you the depth of how deeply you are in love with yourself. In that respect, I am the chief of sinners.
How thankful I also am for the two books pictured above that have been my biblical counselors and my friends in recent days. I keep going back to Jared Mellinger's encouraging words on page 12 of A Bright Tomorrow where he states:
"Tomorrow is a happy thing. You don't know everything about your future, but you know the most important parts.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that a lot can happen in six months. Things you never wanted to deal with. Words you never hoped to hear. Pain you never thought you would feel.
Life can change so fast.
Sometimes the thing you fear the most really does happen. One of my scariest "What If's" for years was wondering how I would cope if my mom got cancer. I'll never forget pulling into the driveway and my mom coming out to greet me. I already knew something was wrong, but when she actually said the words, "I think I have breast cancer," my heart plummeted while my brain registered the reality that nightmares can come true.
Fast forward five months to today. My mom just finished her chemo treatments and is now preparing to have massive surgery next week. We have had grace upon grace poured out upon us from the Body of Christ: delicious meals, countless texts, numerous bouquets, and oh, so many prayers. And while this trial is by no means over, we are thanking God for the healing progress we are seeing and for what He is teaching us today.
They say what doesn't kill you makes your stronger. I am here to tell you I don't do well with pain. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I really hate unknowns. Lately, God has given me a great big dish of both in numerous forms. If we graded ourselves on how strong we felt our faith was, I'd give myself a solid C. Some days I feel optimistic about what God has up His sleeve, and other days, I weary from preaching to myself and cave into the self-pity big time.
How thankful I am that God has mercy on people like me! People who know the right answers, who grew up in church, were homeschooled, went to Christian college, have a master’s degree in biblical counseling-yet who doubt, sometimes fear His plan, and question His ways. The hard and the unexpected show you the depth of how deeply you are in love with yourself. In that respect, I am the chief of sinners.
How thankful I also am for the two books pictured above that have been my biblical counselors and my friends in recent days. I keep going back to Jared Mellinger's encouraging words on page 12 of A Bright Tomorrow where he states:
"Tomorrow is a happy thing. You don't know everything about your future, but you know the most important parts.
- God will be with you.
- Christ will pray for you.
- The Holy Spirit will empower you.
- God will supply all your needs.
- The Lord will protect you.
- The love of God will keep you.
- All things will work for your good.
- The defeat of sin and death is sure.
- You will see Christ face to face.
- You will worship the Lamb who was slain.
- Your body will be resurrected.
- Your sorrows will be no more.
- You will be with loved ones in Christ.
- You will be richly rewarded.
- Christ will make all things new.
We can't let this biblical vision of the future grow blurry."
I want to be characterized by defiant joy. That is realistically possible only when I own this list, claiming what's already mine. I always was that kid who read the end of the book first-a bad habit I'm now trying to break. Yet I can't help thinking how glad I am that God in Scripture has given us the end of His ultimate story where there will be no such thing as cancer, broken hearts, hard moves, and scary unknowns.
I'm looking at the end of the story, and it's telling me, "The best is yet to come!"
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